Fat Joe Just Told His Wildest Story Yet; Mr. Commodore Responds With Comedy

Fat Joe apparently had a neighborhood security system that required no alarm, no LoJack and definitely no Ring camera.

It was called respect.

Joey Crack recently told a story that has the internet doing some serious fact checking from the comfort of its collective couch. During a conversation on “The Real Report” with Tony Yayo and Uncle Murda, Joe reportedly recalled just how much weight his name carried during his younger days.

According to Joe, there was a time when he could leave his car parked outside with the windows completely rolled down and his jewelry hanging from the rearview mirror.

And nobody touched it.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, we need to discuss this.

Fat Joe is unquestionably one of Hip-Hop’s great storytellers. Give that man a microphone and enough time and you might get a story involving Big Pun, Mike Tyson, Madonna, somebody from the Terror Squad and an event nobody else on Earth remembers quite the same way.

But chains dangling from the rearview mirror?

In New York?

Overnight?

Joe was apparently operating under diplomatic immunity!

Now, a comedian named Mr. Commodore decided to do what we does – make fun of it. He’s done this before, but he moved extra fast this time. I ain’t gonna lie, this was hilarious.

Anyway, the underlying point of Joe’s story seems pretty obvious. Joe is saying his reputation and relationships in the neighborhood were so strong that stealing from him simply was not an option. The juice was not worth the squeeze! That kind of street respect has always been part of Hip-Hop mythology, particularly during an era when jewelry represented considerably more than fashion.

Still, the internet being the internet, people are questioning whether anybody was really leaving expensive jewelry sitting inside an open vehicle in the Bronx without consequences.

I wasn’t there, so I cannot call Joe’s story fact or fiction. And that is precisely what makes the story hilarious.

Maybe Fat Joe really had that kind of respect.

Maybe somebody saw those chains and decided they suddenly had somewhere else to be.

Or maybe Joey Crack has reached that beautiful veteran stage of Hip-Hop where every story gets a little more cinematic each time it is told.

Either way, I need somebody from the old neighborhood to verify this one.

Because leaving your windows down is one thing.

Leaving the jewelry hanging from the mirror?

That’s a whole different level of confidence.

Or insanity.

We need witnesses!